Sunday, February 4, 2007

Train wrecks, substitute teachers, and afros

I'm not making fun of my anorexic girl when I post about her -- I just am fascinated by her. It's like a train wreck. What kind of glasses is she wearing that she can't see how terrible she looks? Fat-colored glasses? She spends hours at the gym and then jogs home, and while she's at the gym she does things that are aerobic, whether they're meant to be or not. For example, in the weight room she just picks up the weights and flails her arms around quickly. Crunches? She uses super-rolling-momentum. She even extra-aerobifies the regular aerobic activities; on the elliptical trainer, she waves her arms over her head. It's sad, but nonetheless fascinating.

Next up is the substitute teacher. I have no idea that this is his actual job. He could be an engineer. But there is a guy at my gym who works out (in a very mellow sort of way) dressed in trousers, a button-down shirt, and loafers. And coke-bottle glasses. I just wonder if he can afford my gym, why can't he afford shorts?

But really, the freak-shows of my gym are often the employees. There's one who has 1987 hair -- the platinum blond spiral perm -- and pancake makup in the shade "Lestat." Between the makeup and the hair she practically glows in the dark. I think if you shone a black light on her, she actually would glow.

And then there's the afro guy. I realize that the afro hairstyle has become more popular in recent years, extending to Pacific Islanders, Hispanics, and others with naturally curly thick hair, like the occasional white boy. But generally I find that when Asians want a dome-shaped hairdo, they have to resort to gelled spikes. (And this, they do.) But there's an employee of the gym who has probably the only actual Asian 'fro I've ever seen. He is otherwise entirely dorky, with thick glasses and receding hairline, but a big, big, thin, slightly wavy 'fro. It's odd.


Alex Elliot said...

He works out in loafers? That is pretty weird.

Debra said...

I love the count!!

And remarkably.. there are none of these characters present at all in my own gym.

super des said...

Maybe he worked out in loafers because he forgot his normal gym attire and didn't want to skip a workout.

That's one of my secret fears - that I'll have to work-out in my work-clothes.